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Issue 06
Winter 2003

Helping America procrastinate since 1636

May 24, 2024
We Got Him!
Citing the long awaited, recent capture of former Iraqi dictator/despot Saddam Hussein, evidently millions of Americans all the way from Tacoma to Talahasee partied in mid December 2003 like there was no tomorrow... (more)





The Gubernatorial Dominator Has His Sights Set a Bit Higher (mp3)

Who's The Candidate For You?
To Help You Decide, the Staff at the Harvard Satyrical Press Did Some Research on Each of the Candidates. Here's What We Found... (more)



Point: Angry About Reagan TV Movie, Republicans Threaten to Reaganize Dime, Leaving Roosevelt On Back.###coins

Counterpoint: Democrats Enshrine William (/Jefferson) Clinton Nickel. Would You Like A Mint? How 'Bout Them Apples?###coins

Counter Counter Point: Republicans Vote to Make Dime Smallest Unit of Currency. Fuck Bill and Abe! Says Congress. Australia Already Realized That With Inflation, They're Not Even Worth Picking Up Anymore. Trickle Down to This You Liberal Punks!###coins

Counter Counter Counter Point: Hil' Gets Washington's Spot Even Before She Takes Washington In 2004/2008? You Old Boys Have Been Drawn and Quartered, Biyatch###coins


Ivy Leage Quietly Replaces Dartmouth With University of New Hampshire

Fallen Korean Stem Cell Scientist Stuns World With Claims of Phallic Enhancement


Nite Owl Stays Up Late

Ultra-feminist changes last name to hyphen


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