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Issue 06
Winter 2003
Helping America procrastinate since 1636
September 10, 2024
 
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 TOP STORY MORE NEWS FROM THE ARCHIVES
We Got Him!
Citing the long awaited, recent capture of former Iraqi dictator/despot Saddam Hussein, evidently millions of Americans all the way from Tacoma to Talahasee partied in mid December 2003 like there was no tomorrow... (more)

 COMMUNITY SPIRIT
Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority Kicks Off New Public Relations Campaign
Area Man Unreasonably Proud of Incredible Hulk Playing Cards

 ENTERTAINMENT
6 More Unfortunate Box Office Mergers

 HARVARD NEWS
Rock of Crack Gets Ph.D. in Biochemistry From Harvard

 UPDATE ON THE ENVIRONMENT
I Wish The Sierra Club Would Stop Wasting So Much Goddamned Paper


The Gubernatorial Dominator Has His Sights Set a Bit Higher (mp3)

Who's The Candidate For You?
To Help You Decide, the Staff at the Harvard Satyrical Press Did Some Research on Each of the Candidates. Here's What We Found... (more)

 SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY
Planet Mars Angry That People Haven't Landed On It Yet
Berkeley Theoretical Physicist Interviewed By New York Times Science Correspondent


 MORE STILLS

Point: Angry About Reagan TV Movie, Republicans Threaten to Reaganize Dime, Leaving Roosevelt On Back.###coins

Counterpoint: Democrats Enshrine William (/Jefferson) Clinton Nickel. Would You Like A Mint? How 'Bout Them Apples?###coins

Counter Counter Point: Republicans Vote to Make Dime Smallest Unit of Currency. Fuck Bill and Abe! Says Congress. Australia Already Realized That With Inflation, They're Not Even Worth Picking Up Anymore. Trickle Down to This You Liberal Punks!###coins

Counter Counter Counter Point: Hil' Gets Washington's Spot Even Before She Takes Washington In 2004/2008? You Old Boys Have Been Drawn and Quartered, Biyatch###coins

Girl Continually Hit On By Local Tree

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 STILLS


LEGO Bionicles Become Sentient



50 Cent Now Known As 32 Euro Cent


 


Enough is Enough. I'm Taking Back The Magic Kingdom. -M. M.



Picture Removed Due To Budget Constraints


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