Articles     Topics     Issues     Print Issues     Stills     Archives
 

Issue 03
May 2003

Helping America procrastinate since 1636

October 03, 2024
 
Home      About       POLITICS   GLOBAL   SCIENCE   HEALTH   ECO   MONEY   SPORTS   ENTERTAINMENT   PERSONALS   LOCAL   HARVARD   RANDOM  MORE 
 TOP STORY MORE NEWS FROM THE ARCHIVES
John Malkovich Preemptively Installed As Puppet Dictator in Iraq
In light of recent events in the middle east, and the hastening opening of Saddam Hussein's tyrannical despot/dictator job, the United States government announced today its intentions to preemptively install John Malkovich as puppet dictator in Iraq... (more)


 COMMUNITY SPIRIT
Unexpected Angst At Area Semaphore
On a beautiful Summer Day, walking down Massachusetts Avenue, I found myself suddenly berated by a voice from an undisclosed location... (more)


Space, No Place For the Unhip
Not long ago, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration was appointed a new head by the name of Sean O'Keefe... (more)


 UPDATE ON THE ENVIRONMENT
Girl Continually Hit On By Local Tree
Coming as a surprise to her friends, Harvard Graduate student Estelle Rochelle Hotel announced recently that ever since the beginning of April, she had been constantly sexually harassed, not by area construction workers, colleagues in her department, or dudes at the Porter or Harvard square T stops, but by a local tree... (more)




 STILLS


Verizon Guy Finally Calls Cops on Creepy Legion of Stalkers


 


Ralph Nader Endorses RC Cola


 SPONSORED LINKS

 
   
 
Home     About       Issues        POLITICS    SCIENCE    LOCAL    ENTERTAINMENT    ARCHIVES   
 
Powered By

Hosted By the
Harvard Computer Society

Funded By the
Harvard Graduate Student Council

Inspired By
The Onion


Download PDFs
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License Creative Commons License

 
The Harvard Satyrical Press is not intended for readers under 18 years of age (Disclaimer) (c) Copyright 2024, The Harvard Satyrical Press, Some Rights Reserved