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Issue 05
Fall 2003
Helping America procrastinate since 1636
April 25, 2024
 
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 TOP STORY MORE NEWS FROM THE ARCHIVES
Schwarzenegger, Davis Square off in No Holds Barred Gubernatorial Debate
As he prepared for an upcoming, one on one, public debate with his new political rival, California governor Gray Davis began to talk shit... (more)


 SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY
Silicon, Germanium File Grievance Against Arnold Schwarzenegger


 TRUTH IN ADVERTISING
Painkillers...It's Whats for VicodinTMner
Four Blades, My Ass!


Mafia Goes Public
Amidst recent rumors of their impending emergence into the mainstream financial world, the Mafia confirmed today in New York that they indeed were about to go public, taking their place not next to the MoblMin's and MobileTel's of the New York Stock Exchange, but in the lesser known but nonetheless financially formidable world of NASDAQ... (more)


 ENTERTAINMENT
6 Bastard Children the Film Industry Doesn't Want You To Hear About

The Aspiring California Governor Reveals Plans to Conquer Texas (mp3)


 HARVARD NEWS
A Tribute To The Sci-Onion


Google, The Modern Day Oracle of Delphi

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 STILLS


Anthology of Short Fiction Mysteriously Found Next To Orange Juice


 


New VCR Now Backwards Compatible With Old VCR


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