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Issue 01
January 2003

Helping America procrastinate since 1636

November 24, 2020
 
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 TOP STORY MORE NEWS FROM THE ARCHIVES
Vegetarians To Blame For Destruction of the Rainforests, Says Chevron
The worldwide decline of viable rainforest land has been exacerbated not by logging, deforestation, and the relentless greed of capitalism, but by the rampant spread of vegetarianism, claims Chevron, in a recent study... (more)


 HARVARD NEWS
ANTI-MOTIVATIONAL POSTERS
Recently, Harvard sent out this mass mailing about their fantastic library system... (more)

This Famous Scientific Concept Now Brought to You By...
In the humanitarian spirit of corporate sponsorship that has swept the globe in realms as disparate as American sporting events to entire third world economies, Kodak announced this week that Einstein's photo-electric effect is now formally known as the Kodak photo-electric effect... (more)


 HEALTH AND MEDICINE
Area Heroin Addict Blames Drug For Incessant Weight Gain, Threatens Legal Action

Ontario, California this week, area resident Stacy Conners announced her plans to initiate a unique law suit, directly strictly against the drug heroin, which she claims has been causing her to gain weight excessively... (more)



 STILLS


50 Cent Now Known As 32 Euro Cent


 


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