Clinton Recommends Not Jogging Because You Still Get Heart Attacks

Hockey Strikes Again! But alas, "A Season In America Without Hockey is Like a Wedding Without a Football Helmet" - Bob Costas

New VCR Now Backwards Compatible With Old VCR

Student About to Be Force-Fed Rolo

Man With Fish Clearly Not Fucking Around

Anthology of Short Fiction Mysteriously Found Next To Orange Juice

9-Year-Old Girl Unable to Find Porn on Internet in Public Library

Man Runs Out of Checks, Has to Wait Six Weeks

Drunk Teen Temporarily Forgets How to Say Thank You In Spanish

Papparazi Almost Catch Waldo With Pants Down

Nip/Tuck Doctors to Only Do Important, Reconstructive /Restorative Surgeries

LEGO Bionicles Become Sentient

Life-Sized Cardboard cutout of Snoop Dogg Pales in Comparison to Life-sized Cardboard Cutout of My Cousin Mark

Olympic Pole Vaulter Yoo Kim Conveniently Specifies His Seemingly Reasonable, Yet Somehow Suspect, Location