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Issue 04
July 2003

Helping America procrastinate since 1636

January 25, 2021
Google, The Modern Day Oracle of Delphi
In a day of half assed hack search engines like Yahoo, Lycos, and Alta Vista, one has emerged from the rabble as a shining beacon of hope in the quest for finding shit...that would be, yes, you guessed it, none other than Google, the modern day Oracle of Delphi... (more)

Verdana Named Best Font After Brutal Font War With Times New Roman
After a prolonged battle, which outlasted the predictions of even the most conservative Oval Office spokespersons, it was announced last Tuesday that Verdana had finally won the font war with Times New Roman... (more)

Entrepreneurial Caribou Subvert Oil Drilling Plans
In a spirited effort to finally save their traditional mating grounds from the potential encroachment of the Bush administration's oil drilling hordes, a large herd of surprisingly entrepreneurial caribou in Northern Alaska evidently decided to simply raise the funds to purchase the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge outright... (more)

Fleet: "We Now Have Enough Money."

It was on a very typical hazy New England summer afternoon when a most untypical announcement took place... (more)



Area DJ Embarrassingly Outscratched by Local Crow


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