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Issue 10
Fall 2005

Helping America procrastinate since 1636

June 07, 2023

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FROM THE ARCHIVES

Iraq Declared "Safest Place in the World in the Event of a Hurricane"
Following the recent string of overwhelmingly devastating hurricanes around the globe, as a public service, the Bush Administration... (more)

DOMESTIC POLITICS

Bush Unveils New Gulf-Coast Reconstruction Plan, Promotes Leadership Role for Pirate Sector

Yasser Arafat Spotted in Tulsa Wal-Mart

MBTA Transit Watch Pamphlet

Gay Terror Alert Updated to Perrywinkle

HARVARD NEWS

Following Recommendations from HGWISE, President Summers to Become a Woman

COMMUNITY SPIRIT

A Little Something For the Holidays

Area Students Make Pizza Delivery History

Top 10 Ways to Get Turned to Stone

Britney Spears Converts to Islam

In a press release this Tuesday, Britney Spears confirmed rumors that she has indeed converted to Islam. According to friends, Spears became interested in spiritual matters after becoming pregnant with... (more)

UPDATE ON THE ENVIRONMENT

Bush Administration to Begin Oil Drilling From Baby Harp Seals

SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY

Scientists Find Source of Light at End of Tunnel

Where Did the Day Go?

Populace Rests Easier Now That Math Problem Solved

ENTERTAINMENT

Network Hopes "Middle Class Cattle Drive" Will Be Hit with Viewers

Holy Shit! Paris Hilton Naked

Gas Prices In Perspective

Hear About That New Pirate Movie?

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Why Adidas Should be Paying Me, and Other Rants

Who's The Candidate For You?

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STILLS Toaster Box Steals Bike, Loses Breath, Puts Down Kick Stand Bush Vetoes Bill at Chinese Restaurant	Catholic Church Bans Left Handed Pencil Artichoke Nearly Untasteable in Spinach-Artichoke Dip
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