Morgan Freeman Announces Plans to Narrate Everything From Now On

Salt Lake City Offers to Host Mardi Gras

Supreme Court Vacancy to be Filled by Large Pile of McDonalds Balls

Boy, Age 3, Wins Ultimate Joke Contest

After Losing Bet With Pumpkins, Watermelons Agree to Take Care of Halloween This Year

Octuple Citizen Pays More than Entire Income in Taxes

Area Woman Can Totally See Your House From Here

Local Bank Found to Actually Be Front for Raging Whorehouse

Fruits Found To Be First Sporting Equipment, Claims Recent Harvard Study

90% of Things You Thought You Lost, Actually Just in Your Pants, According to Study

Area DJ Embarrassingly Outscratched by Local Crow

You Can Tell Bradley I'll Rip Off My Own Fucking Tail Before Endorsing Car Insurance Again

Can someone tell me again why we agreed to this?

Answer to Last Week's Trivia Question.

No