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Issue 16
Fall 2008
Helping America procrastinate since 1636
February 19, 2025
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Obama Sets Timetable For Personally Killing Bin Laden
POLITICS
Biden Quietly Appeases Liberal White Racist Demographic
Will White Working Class Democrats Vote For Obama?
Republicans Accuse Michael Phelps of Elitism
China's First Space Walker Disqualified After Age Fraud Scandal
DOMESTIC POLITICS
Pundits Decry Decline of Communal Drug Use in America
Consumer Protection Group Accuses Michelin of Marketing Tires to Infants
ELECTION 2008
Why Write For HSP?
US Redefines 'Offshore Drilling' to Include All Other Continents
Sarah Palin to Make First Visit to Continental United States
McCain: "I Will Not Rest Until I Am Universally Covered"
Republicans Fear Large Hadron Collider Will Create Black Holes, Presidents
EYE ON THE ECONOMY
Global Economy Becomes Sentient, Endorses Obama
United States Discovers 1.7 Trillion Stashed Under National Mattress
Thompson, If You Don't Get Busy Around Here Soon, I'm Outsourcing Your Job to China
SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY
Male Engineering Professor Incredibly Excited About Helping Women in Science
Book of Riddles Disables Evil Supercomputer
Physicist Reports Rapidly Decreasing Number of Degrees to Kevin Bacon
HSP COMICS
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Male Engineering Professor Incredibly Excited About Helping Women in Science
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STILLS
Housing Police Arrest Development
Bose Announces New Nose Cancelling Headphones
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