Obama Promises To Have All Troops Out of Iraq By 1991

Scientists Discover Cure For Cure For Obesity

Verizon Guy Finally Calls Cops on Creepy Legion of Stalkers

GOP Suffers From Brown-Black Color Blindness

Soon-To-Be-Fired Intern Sneaks F-Word Into Teleprompter

Area Man Spends Hour Thinking Of Perfect Username, Password

Robots Also Look to Canada For Health Care Needs

Indian Woman Can’t Believe Slumdog Won With That Dance Number

AIG Donates Bonuses to Pro Athletes

Rorschach Gets Flak For New Hat

Nite Owl Stays Up Late

If Watchmen Had Been Made in 1989

Silk Spectre Demands Equal Pay

A-Rod Admits Using Performance Enhancing Wooden Stick Since 1994

Harvard No Longer Well-Endowed

Grad Student Fails to Find Synonym For "Thesaurus"

Homeless Man Refinances Box

Democrat Declares Republicans Undateable

Picture Removed Due To Budget Constraints