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Issue 06
Winter 2003

Helping America procrastinate since 1636

January 24, 2021

I Wish The Sierra Club Would Stop Wasting So Much Goddamned Paper

BERKELEY, CA - UC Berkeley environmental science major and practicing vegan Rachel Wells told us recently that she was conflicted about her new allegiance to the well known environmental organization, The Sierra Club, because, in her own words, "I know its a good cause and all, but I just wish they would stop wasting so much goddamned paper."

Wells kindly elaborated. "Consider this. Last month I decided to sign up as a member and pay a $15 membership fee. No big deal, right? Wrong! Within three weeks I get like 6 newsletters, 3 solicitations for donations, and a copy of their monthly magazine. Now I'm no Alan Greenspan, but it seems to me all that has to cost them more than $15 just for their staff wages, postage, and materials. I guess it must be worth it for them, since a few big donors can make up the difference, but doesn't that seem just a little ironic for an organization who's job it is to be saving the trees?"

Wells continued to remain conflicted for the rest of the hour in which she smoked three joints, recycled everything, finished off a bag of organic carrots, and ultimately decided to remain a Sierra Club member as long as she made a promise to herself plant a new sequoia for every fucking Sierra club leaflet that comes bleeding into her mailbox on a trail of ravished woodland.  HSP 





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