Articles     Topics     Issues     Print Issues     Stills     Archives
 

Issue 13
Spring 2007

Helping America procrastinate since 1636

April 25, 2024
 
Home      About       POLITICS   GLOBAL   SCIENCE   HEALTH   ECO   MONEY   SPORTS   ENTERTAINMENT   PERSONALS   LOCAL   HARVARD   RANDOM  MORE 
 ENTERTAINMENT RELATED ARTICLES
Rainbow Bright Goes Goth

Indigo City, Rainbow Land - In a move that shocked the fashion world today Rainbow Bright (whose real name is Roeena Lifstein) appeared on stage at a fashion show in Milan wearing all black. Her entire ensemble was colorless, except for one angry streak of red in her hair. She also wore white makeup on her face, because, as she told one reporter "I want to look dead, you know, like a gothic person, like a real one, you know."

Ms. Bright, who has been the frequent topic of tabloid stories lately, told a shocked press corps that after a messy divorce and a brief stint in rehab, she was finally ready to shed her previous garrulous garb.

"I always felt like that dude from the bible, man," Ms. Bright, a native of southern California said, "like now I can be me, which is the real me, you know, like when you're surfing and you see a shark coming at you and it's like POW! ZAM ! WONK!" she said, punching three reporters in the head before sticking her tongue out (which was pierced) and running off to her parent's basement to hide.

Teddy Ruxpin, a longtime associate of Ms. Bright, said he was not surprised by her fairly severe new duds. "She was always a little extreme. Would you like to hear a story..." Mr. Ruxpin began, before his batteries apparently died.  HSP 




 PREVIOUS ARTICLE
 NEXT ARTICLE


 SPONSORED LINKS




 SPONSORED LINKS




 SPONSORED LINKS



 
   
 
Home     About       Issues        POLITICS    SCIENCE    LOCAL    ENTERTAINMENT    ARCHIVES   
 
Powered By

Hosted By the
Harvard Computer Society

Funded By the
Harvard Graduate Student Council

Inspired By
The Onion


Download PDFs
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License Creative Commons License

 
The Harvard Satyrical Press is not intended for readers under 18 years of age (Disclaimer) (c) Copyright 2024, The Harvard Satyrical Press, Some Rights Reserved