Angelina Jolie: I'm an extremely
hot Oscar Nominee.
A.J. I have personally hugged or
posed in photos with over fifteen thousand actual
poor people in the last month alone.
A.J. I'm unbelievably hot. I inspire X-rated video
games and I even made pregnant look fuckable.
A.J. At this rate, I will have adopted
all of Africa by next Thursday.
A.J. My book has way more poor
people on its cover than yours.
A.J. I have help from Brad Pitt. If
he could end a relationship with
Jennifer Aniston, then he sure as
hell can help me figure out how to
Jeffrey Sachs: I'm an extremely
J.S. I've dedicated a lifetime of academic
research to the topic and seriously, I'm the
smartest person I know.
J.S. If you must know, my wife and I have a fantastic
J.S. I'm literally, quite possibly
the smartest man alive. Ever.
J.S. The foreward to my book was
written by Bono!
A.J. With the finiancial success of
my book, I'm ending poverty one
person at a time. Also Bill Clinton
owes me one hundred trillion dollars.
That ought to be enough.