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Issue 14
Fall 2007

Helping America procrastinate since 1636

January 16, 2021
Jordan's Furniture Bets Obama Will Strike Out

Boston, MA - Jordan's Furniture has announced a follow-up to its successful Red Sox promotion: any customer who purchases furniture during the month of November will receive a full refund if Barack Obama wins the presidency in 2008.

Other furniture stores have not matched the promotion, though industry sources suggest that IKEA may endorse Al Gore.

The promotion has generated controversy. David Gergen, a professor of political leadership at the Kennedy School of Government, warns that, "Massachusetts electors may be swayed to break with the popular vote in their state if they purchased particularly expensive mattresses."

"We took an insurance policy just in case, just like we did with the Red Sox," said Jordan's Furniture Vice President Michelle Yang. "This one cost less."

Obama has not specified whether he shops at Jordan's. However, he will be making a previously unscheduled visit to the Jordan's Furniture factory in Cambodia to discuss worker's rights and free trade.

In a press statement, the rival Clinton campaign noted that, "Senator Clinton shops at a variety of furniture stores, including Jordan's, and is supportive of most things with which she does not disagree."  HSP 





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