Articles     Topics     Issues     Print Issues     Stills     Archives

Issue 14
Fall 2007

Helping America procrastinate since 1636

January 24, 2021
Hugo Chavez Elected President of the United States

Click for Larger Image
Caracas, Venezuela - In what observers are calling "the freest election in Venezuelan history," Hugo Chavez was elected president of the United States on Tuesday. With 99% of the votes counted, Chavez leads his closest opponent, Cesar Chavez, by over eleven million votes.

"Cesar Chavez hasn't been politically active in decades," notes Professor Elaine Kamarck, a faculty member of the Kennedy School of Government. "He polled strongly, but the deceased always lose 10 to 15 points on Election Day."

Hugo Chavez campaigned on a pro-Venezuela platform, a stance popular in Venezuela. Though he ran as an independent, he was endorsed by the Republican Party of Mississippi and the Facebook group 4,000,000 Strong for Dictatorship. Earlier this year, the Venezuelan Congress approved a Constitutional amendment waiving the requirement that the United States president be a native-born American and that he be elected by citizens of the United States.  HSP 





Home     About       Issues        POLITICS    SCIENCE    LOCAL    ENTERTAINMENT    ARCHIVES   
Powered By

Hosted By the
Harvard Computer Society

Funded By the
Harvard Graduate Student Council

Inspired By
The Onion

Download PDFs
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License Creative Commons License

The Harvard Satyrical Press is not intended for readers under 18 years of age (Disclaimer) (c) Copyright 2021, The Harvard Satyrical Press, Some Rights Reserved