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Issue 08
Fall 2004

Helping America procrastinate since 1636

October 24, 2020
 
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Giant Mushroom Cloud Over North Korea Obscures Search For Weapons of Mass Destruction

Yanggang Province, North Korea - The massive explosion in the Yanggang Provice of North Korea that was heard in Japan and South Korea did more than just wake up a few grumpy people, it created yet another obstacle for President Bush to heroically hurdle in his search for WMD.

Mumbled President Bush, "It is confusing enough when the terrorists hide behind the acronymity of their three-letter abbreviations, but this tremendous cloud of dust blocking our otherwise crystal clear satellite photos is the last straw, except for the one on the camel's neck in the haystack, the kind we know how to look through in Texas."

North Korean officials, while bewildered by Bush's speech, managed to clear their heads long enough to claim that the explosion was the result of the demolition of a mountain for the installation of a hydroelectric plant.

"We had to perform the demotion at night, on the site of a military base, without warning, and on the date of our national holiday for non-nuclear, non-nefarious reasons" decreed Kim Jung-Ill. An American official warned that the US may bring economic sanctions, such as refusing to sell those snap-bracelets that Kim so loves, if North Korea does not desist in obstructing the search. "Our satellites are having enough trouble finding Osama Bin Laden and the nuclear chemicals in Iraq even without all this debris in the air."

Added Bush, "If North Korea will just stop blowing mountains up we can get this war on terror over with and then perhaps we'll get down to talking about the supposed nuclear and ballistic missile program that the North Koreans keep blustering about."  HSP 




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