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Issue 14
Fall 2007

Helping America procrastinate since 1636

January 20, 2021

Spam Writer's Union Enters Tenth Year

The Internets - The strike that started in 1998 of the Union of Unsolicited Junk Email Authors continues, and for nine years internet email users have had to make do. Today, as is well known, all spam email is either a garbled, recycled version of a junk mailing penned by a member of the Union before 1998, or else automatically generated by a computer program that outputs nonsensical yet oddly compelling phrases.

Union officials strongly maintain that the poor quality of spam over the past decade has led to billions in lost revenues, fleeced from unsuspecting saps who blindly click on any link they're sent. As employers are reluctant to meet the Union's demands, such as adding discount "\/|/\gR/\" and "C1aLi$" to prescription health plans, the strike seems unlikely to end any time soon. It was, however, jeopardized once in recent years, when a Nigerian spam writer crossed the picket line with a bold email scam that gained some brief notoriety, but he was quickly pummeled to death by badly misspelled signs carried by angry strikers.  HSP 





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