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Issue 10
Fall 2005 |
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HSP STAFF SUBMISSIONS ADVERTISE DONATE LINKS Join mailing list May 21, 2024 |
| Following the recent string of overwhelmingly devastating hurricanes around the globe, as a public service, the Bush Administration... (Download pdf) |
| HSP SPECIAL REPORT |
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Bush Unveils New Gulf-Coast Reconstruction Plan, Promotes Leadership Role for Pirate Sector
The Bush administration announced today that the Gulf Coast will be rebuilt, not via direct relief from the federal government... (Download pdf) |
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| MBTA Transit Watch... (Download pdf) Check out the Real MBTA Pamphlet! |
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| Holy Shit! Paris Hilton Naked... Gas Prices... Hear About That New Pirate Movie?... |
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A Little Something For the Holidays - Application For The Position of Department Store Santa Claus... (Download pdf) |
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Britney Spears Converts to Islam In a press release this Tuesday, Britney Spears confirmed rumors that she has indeed converted to Islam. According to friends, Spears became interested in spiritual matters after becoming pregnant with... (Download pdf) |
Britney Spears
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| Bush Administration to Begin Oil Drilling From Baby Harp Seals | |
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Recently, there have been rumours leaked to HSP that the Bush administration has plans to extend its Arctic Wildlife vendetta... (Download pdf) |
| Scientists Find Source of Light at End of Tunnel |
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| At a late September press conference, a group of M.I.T. and Harvard astrophysicists announced a startling discovery that pushes the boundaries of the once taboo field of afterlife research... (Download pdf) | |
| Where Did the Day Go? |
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| Have you ever caught yourself at the end of a day, wondering where all the hours went? If so, then you're not alone... (Download pdf) |
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Yasser Arafat Spotted in Tulsa Wal-Mart |
| Within weeks of his supposed death in a Paris military hospital... (Download pdf) |
| FROM THE EDITOR | |
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Why Adidas Should Be Paying Me, and Other Rants... (Download pdf) |
Morgan Freeman Announces Plans to Narrate Everything From Now On
Salt Lake City Offers to Host Mardi Gras
Supreme Court Vacancy to be Filled by Large Pile of McDonalds Balls
Boy, Age 3, Wins Ultimate Joke Contest
After Losing Bet With Pumpkins, Watermelons Agree to Take Care of Halloween This Year
Octuple Citizen Pays More than Entire Income in Taxes
Area Woman Can Totally See Your House From Here
Answer To Last Week's Trivia Question
No
Network Hopes "Middle Class Cattle Drive" Will Be Hit with Viewers
Populace Rests Easier Now That Math Problem Solved
Gay Terror Alert Updated to Perrywinkle
Area Students Make Pizza Delivery History
(Download pdf)
 Local Bank Found to Actually Be Front for Raging Whorehouse |
 Fruits Found To Be First Sporting Equipment, Claims Recent Harvard Study |
 90% of Things You Thought You Lost, Actually Just in Your Pants, According to Study |
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 Area DJ Embarrassingly Outscratched by Local Crow |
 You Can Tell Bradley I'll Rip Off My Own Fucking Tail Before Endorsing Car Insurance Again |
 Can someone tell me again why we agreed to this? |
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Attn: Andrew Friedman, Editor In Chief.
